So it begins…

As someone who is diagnosed with Bipolar and has struggled my entire life, I know how hard it can be to feel like someone gets you. I know it can feel as though you aren’t understood. I want me and everyone else to be HEARD. Looking back at my childhood, I know my parents were hurting. Now that I am a mother, I can’t imagine seeing my Grace go through the things I was going through. There is so much I wish my mom didn’t know. Growing up, I feared the way she viewed me. She is one of the most important people in my life; her opinion means so much.

Right before I got pregnant, I was diagnosed with chronic depression (this was a misdiagnosis). Now…most of you know that when you get pregnant, you can’t take certain medication anymore. When I found out I was pregnant, I quit ALL my medications. Cold turkey. It was rough. My pregnancy really made me realize that there was something more going on. Then Grace was born, and post-partum set in. It took a year and half for me to get a proper diagnosis. Bipolar, type one. Life; as I knew it, was over.

I feel like there are so many moms (and non-moms) out there who struggle with mental illness who feel alone. I also know how hard it can be for a significant other or family member when they see you struggling. There are things Tristan has seen that just tears me down to the core. People who love you don’t always know or understand what is going on. I believe this world is in dire need of a wake-up call when it comes to mental health. I don’t want to say I want to narrow my voice to one specific topic though because I feel like I have a lot to say. I’m just here to help.

I’m in my twenty’s. I’m a mom to three–1 human and 2 fur babies. Let’s see; I’m also a daughter, sister, and girlfriend. I hail from the great state of Texas. H-Town to be exact. I have two wonderful siblings. Will is in college now, playing baseball and I am so proud. Riley…well, Riley is just Riley. LOL. If anyone reading this knows her, you know that statement is 100% accurate. She’s eight. She was born when I was sixteen; my mom started over. Riley prepared me for motherhood. She also was a bright star in my life. When she was born I was a junior in high school who struggled with something I didn’t understand. In one way, she kept me above water.

Some would say I come from a broken home, but now that I am older I don’t like to call it that. My dad, Finish Ray, is wise and funny. My mother, Julie Elizabeth, is beautiful and strong. I am who I am because of them, and I commend them for putting up with me all these years. I know I was (and am) a mess. College wasn’t really for me. I wouldn’t say it was too hard. I think I just was not interested in spending my life that way. Then I got pregnant, and things just got put to the side without ever being brought up again. Currently, I am bartending my way through life, trying to figure out what it is I want to do. This blog is going to make things brighter, for sure.

I can’t wait for what’s to come.

Much love.

4 thoughts on “So it begins…

  1. I love you cousin. You failed to mention you are also an adored cousin and a child of a king. God made you beautifully and he makes no mistakes. Sometimes we struggle, it’s the bounce back that defines us. Im proud of you and your bounce back!

    Liked by 1 person

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