I remember when my Mom told me that she thought my NoNose was Bipolar. When I thought about it, I understood why she was the way she was. When she got Alzheimer’s I saw the mood swings more than I ever did before. Seeing that made me feel like it’s not my fault. She was a beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman. She was tough, and a force of nature. I miss her and my Pawpaw every day. I miss the phone calls where Pawpaw just listened. He always made me feel heard, and I hope he is proud of me. I’ve never loved someone like I loved my Pawpaw. He was the best man I have ever known.
Grace was about three when I was diagnosed with BD. It made me terrified that I would pass it down. Now…we all know I love to research. It is the best way to become aware. So, let’s begin.
I found out that Bipolar Disorder is a heritable disease. Genetics isn’t the only reason behind BD, but all the things I read show that it is a strong component in developing BD. Did you know that children who have a parent with BD are ten times more likely to develop the disease? Fucking sucks to think about it. Although the exact cause of BD is unknown, they believe that genetics, environment, and family history are all risk factors.
Also, did you know we have calcium in our brains? Or am I just dumb? LOL. One of the second strongest causes of BD is a problem with calcium signaling. Neurons control our intake and outtake of calcium. If you have a problem with it, your brain chemistry will change. A lack of dopamine and serotonin can also have quite an effect on someone’s mental health. ‘
Now, WHO LOVES LISTS? If you do, cool. If you don’t, I don’t care.
- Head trauma
- Changes in the way your brain functions
- When your brain is inflamed
- Cortisol levels
- Traumatic events
- Lacking physical activity
- Changes in your hormones
- Drug and Alcohol abuse
- Childhood events
There’s no cure for this shit. I mean once you got it, you got it, my guy. There are ways to help with your recovery and road to stability. Here are a few things that can help you (and me).
- Mood Stabilizers
- Anxiety Medication
- This is a safe, nonjudgemental place to voice what you are dealing with.
- Cognitive-Behavioral: You will find a way to understand your triggers and how to handle them. It can help explain how feelings and behavior coincide with one another. Also, let’s learn (together) how to get rid of the dark thoughts and replace them with good.
- Family-focused: Get your family to better understand what you are going through. This can help communication be better, better self-care, and get your family to learn the best way to help.
Bipolar Disorder is unpredictable as hell. I can’t do shit but give Grace the best life I can give her. Show her love. Play with her. She’s my baby, always will be. All I can do is hope she has the happiest life. I want to see her grow, love, hurt, and live. Our kids are important. Our kids are the future. The best thing we can do is set them up for happiness. Life is never fair, and I don’t expect our kids to never be hurt. I just expect us, as parents, to do the best we can for them. The kids of right now, are our future doctors, presidents, senators, and professional athletes. The possibilities for our kids are endless.
Becoming a mother saved my life. Grace is the light of all of our lives. She’s going to do big things.
So will y’alls kids (Caroline believe this).
I promise. You heard it here first.