12 things that Mental Illness has taught me

I’ve been dealing with Mental Illness my whole life. My first experience with therapy was in elementary school when my parents divorced. I went back during middle school when my parents discovered my self-harming. Depression has consumed me for years, and I’ve never known a life without it. Many life lessons led me to where I am today. I wasn’t always so wise (LOL). It took me a long time to understand and accept my life. It took time and hard work to become comfortable with who I am. 

Being Bipolar has taught me about life, love, and much more. They might not make sense to everyone, but they do to me. 

Here are twelve things that Mental Illness has taught me. 

I have this need to make my voice heard. 

  • I spent my whole life with a muzzle over my mouth. In high school, I was always submissive. I let people walk all over me, use me, hurt me. All without saying a fucking word. In the past few years, I realized that isn’t how I want to live my life. I no longer wear that muzzle. I had the nerve to make this blog, which was a huge step outside my comfort zone. I no longer put up with the people who treat me badly. NO ONE will ever walk all over me again. NO ONE will stop me from speaking up and sharing. 

I’m not able to “be happy” or “let it go.”

  • People have told me this my entire life, and it’s one of the most annoying things I have ever heard. My Dad says this a lot, and it’s okay. Some people can do that, and he is one of them. I’m just not. This took me a long time to learn because I am a people pleaser. I’ve always wanted to put on this outward appearance of happiness to trick those I loved. Now I know that this is NOT me. I am different, and that’s okay. 

Medication is not a cure.

  • I once thought I could be fixed…I can’t. I went on and off medication for a few years and thought I was better. I’d use them until I felt like myself again (somewhat), and then cold turkey. It always sent me into a downwards spiral…which is why you think I would’ve learned faster huh?

I can still live my life the way I want/deserve. 

  • When I was diagnosed, it felt like a death sentence. Bipolar Disorder is for life. 4 LIFE. Lol, I mean oops. Somewhat funny. I felt like I would be hindered in some way…that my life was no longer mine. I was wrong. I’ve had beautiful friendships over the years since then, not all have stayed and that is okay. I get to experience life to the fullest, and I think being Bipolar has taught me that. I won’t let anything stop me from enjoying everything life has to offer. 

It’s good to push myself out of my comfort zone.

  • I was sooooo bad at this growing up. Sometimes I still avoid it. Going out with people makes my anxiety go crazy…mostly because I always think no one will like me. Therefore, I put up the biggest wall ever. I’m trying hard to change that. When I do step out, it always feels worth it.

There are some things I can’t do.

  • There are a few things that cause crippling anxiety. I’m not ready to talk about those yet…it’s just a lot. 

Family is everything, and not all family has to be blood.

  • This speaks for itself. My family and I are complicated sometimes, but they are the light of my life. I love my brother and sister. I’m so thankful for my parents. I’m thankful for my friends who have become family over the years. I’m thankful for the people who support me no matter how fucked up I am. I’m proud to be me. 

This doesn’t define me. 

  • I’m more than being mentally ill. I am a good person. I am loving. My heart is huge, and I care deeply. I am someone who puts everyone above themselves. Being Bipolar doesn’t change who I truly am. 

The grass is actually greener on the other side. 

  • Once you get past the bullshit, it’s better. I know this saying is cliche, but it’s true. I go through some dark times, but at the end of them is this ray of sunshine. The dark times make me appreciate the good times much more. 

Self-care is important. 

  • Still perfecting this. Lol. But for real, do something for yourself EVERY DAY. For me, I wash my face and I read. Coloring helps me a lot, and it’s one of my favorite forms of self-care. Puzzles are great too. Also, crime shows. Crime shows are my biggest form of self-care. 

I’m beautiful…inside and out. 

  • AMEN SISTA. 

It’s okay to not be okay. 

  • Alright, I know. Cliche as hell. But, I’m serious. I was always ashamed of my emotions. I got used to people telling me I was dramatic, too much, or crazy. It’s just not true. I feel things deeply, which I think is beautiful. No one goes through life unscathed. So, it’s okay. 

🙂

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