Love yourselves MF.

Self-love/self-care has never been my strong suit. Lately, I’ve been trying to stick to this routine that I planned out. Yes, I planned my daily routine and wrote it on paper. I’ll do whatever it takes to get to a good, loving, and accepting place. You know the saying, “you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else?” I get the thought process of it but don’t necessarily agree with it. I know 100% that I love others more than I love myself. Now that Grace is older, it feels like it’s the perfect time to focus on myself a little more. Sometimes it can feel like my whole identity is being a mom and a partner. That can’t be all I am. I deserve that shit. I wanted to write about this because it’s something I’m currently working on in my own life. We all can use a little self-care sometimes. Plus, I would love to get brushing my teeth to be a daily thing.

Let’s define it. Self-care is when you take time out of the day to do things that help your physical, mental, and emotional health. You can lower stress, have more energy, and fight health problems by taking care of yourself. I didn’t think neglecting yourself was as common as it is. So many people have a hard time prioritizing themselves. I’m not the only one who struggles with brushing their teeth, which makes me feel better. Self-care doesn’t look the same for everyone. Caring for and loving yourself is crucial to help you learn coping mechanisms for any stressor. I think practicing self-care only builds you up in every aspect. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. I’ve never been in a place where I want to prioritize myself, but it’s time. After an infected tooth and six years, I finally went back to the dentist. It’s gross, but it is what it is. At least I am trying now.

I can go days (even weeks) without brushing my teeth. I’m embarrassed to admit that, but it’s true. It’s hard for me to take care of myself. Most days, I take baths because standing for a shower feels impossible. Tristan has formed a habit of asking me if I’ve done things that I’m supposed to do. “Have you brushed your teeth lately?” It bothered me at first, but I know it comes from love. I’m lucky to have someone who cares enough to notice and try to help. This shit has always been a problem but never to this extent.

Here are the routines I’ve been trying to commit to every day:

Morning

  • Shower/wash face/brush teeth
  • Wake Grace up/make breakfast
  • Get her ready/make my tea
  • Get dressed for work
  • Take Grace to school
  • Head to work

Evening

  • Do Graces homework and study with her
  • Cook dinner and feed animals while Grace has tablet time
  • Dishes
  • Get Grace in the bath/brush her teeth/get her to bed
  • Clean and pick up around the house
  • Make Graces lunch 
  • Mommy time
  • Walk dogs
  • Watch my shows while washing my face
  • Take my sleepy meds (Seroquel)
  • Sleep

Daytime

  • Work
  • Come home/walk dogs
  • Stretch 
  • Work out
  • Pick Grace up from aftercare

I’m not always successful, but it’s the effort that counts. As long as I continue to try, I will get better.

Tips to help you get back in the swing of things

  • Try to exercise in some way every day, even if it’s just walking. 
  • Eat healthily and sleep regularly. 
  • SLEEP DUDE.
  • Find something that relaxes you and try to do it every day. 
  • Make a list of goals for yourself.
  • Practice being “half-full” instead of “half-empty.”
  • Keep in tune with yourself. Check-in on yourself. 

Ideas of things to help improve your mental well-being

  • Make time for the things you love. Some of mine are yoga, writing, catching up on my shows (lol), and doing things around the house. Plus, I got a shit ton of shows which takes time. 
  • Try to do one new thing a week/month/day. Whichever works for you.
  • Love and nurture your body and mind.
  • Make sure your support system is solid. 
  • Practice positive coping mechanisms to cope with stress and depression.
  • Spice up your routine. I’m thinking of going back to riding horses twice a month. 
  • Know when it’s time to get help. Getting help does NOT make you weak.

We all need a little more self-care and love in our lives. I want to challenge everyone to do something this week that brings you joy. Write down ten things you love about yourself. Write down five things that are weighing you down and burn them. Yes, fucking burn them.

We got this.

You got this.

I got this.

Everybody’s got it.

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