Journal

March

I’m exhausted. Utterly exhausted. Work, people, life. I’m just over it all. I keep asking myself, what’s the point? The disrespect is disgusting. Some people’s Mamas did not raise them right. Lmfao, no offense.

Anyways…can y’all believe it is almost summer? My daughter is about to finish her first year of school. I didn’t believe my mom when she said it, but it goes by so fast. I can still smell that newborn first bath smell. She makes me proud every day, even though she’s got the attitude of a teenager. LOL. But I am excited to watch her grow and thrive.

Manic Madison showed up this past week…my hair is now purple, LMFAO. I’ve been struggling lately. Life just beats my ass sometimes. Old habits are hard for me to kick, and self-harm has been the hardest one. I’ve been seeing my psychiatrist once every two weeks, so I’m working on it. I know what some people might think…I’m twenty-five years old. Why the fuck am I hurting myself? Why do I need so much attention? What’s wrong with me? But, honestly. No one asked for your opinion, and no one gives a shit about it. I’m a fighter. Always have been, and always will be.

Recovery is a process. My friend Ryan helped me the other day. He inspired me by being brave and resilient. I am a work in progress, and everyone has their timeline. Don’t rush anything. You will end up exactly where you need to be.

Life is beautiful, despite the rain.

“I was drowning, but now I am swimming”-Mac Miller

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